Making a Difference

One day a man was walking along the seashore. He noticed that during the night many seashells and starfish had washed up on the shore. Thoroughly enjoying the morning sun and cool sea air, the man strolled for miles along the sand. Far off in the distance, he saw a small figure dancing. The man was joyous that someone was celebrating life in such a grand and uninhibited manner. As he drew closer, however, it became apparent that perhaps the figure was not dancing but repeatedly performing some ritual. Approaching the small figure, the man noticed that it was a child. The girl was methodically picking up starfish from the shore and tossing them back into the surf. The man paused for a moment, puzzled, then asked, "Why are you throwing those starfish?" "If I leave these starfish on the beach," she replied, "the sun will dry them, and they will die. So I'm throwing them back into the ocean because I want them to live. "The man was silent for a moment, impressed with the child's thoughtfulness. Then he motioned up and down the miles and miles of beach and said, "There must be millions of starfish along here! How can you possibly expect to make a difference?" The young girl pondered the man's words for a moment, then she slowly leaned over, reached down, and carefully picked up another starfish from the sand. Pulling back, she arched the starfish gently into the surf. She turned to the man and smiled. 
"You may be right," she said, "but I made a difference for that one!"

Note from Tom: A rough lesson that I learned a long time ago.
You can't save them all.

HAD ENOUGH YET???

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'

The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,

'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'

The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!

There once was this mad scientist. One day, being curious of the nature of frogs, he propped a frog up on his desk, opened his log book and carefully observed the animal. After staring at it for a considerable amount of time, the scientist finally said: "JUMP!" and the frog leaped. The scientist then quickly jotted down in his log book: "Frogs can Jump." The following day, the mad scientist entered his lab, checked his log book, put the frog up on the table and, again, stared at it. Finally, he took out a scalpel, removed one of the frog's legs and said: JUMP!" And the frog leaped. The scientist quickly added to his log book: "Frogs can jump with three legs." The next day, the scientist, upon entering his lab, went through the same routine, cutting off another of the frog's legs. As he was staring at the wretched animal who now was missing two legs, he said: "JUMP!" And the frog leaped The scientist then added to his previous observations: "Frogs can jump with two legs." On the fourth day, the scientist behaved according to his habits and removed a third leg from the frog. He then expectantly said: "JUMP!" And the frog leaped. Well by now, the scientist was quite excited about this. He wrote down in his log book: "Frogs can jump with only one leg!" Finally, on the fifth day, the scientist entered his lab, already thrilled by what new discoveries he might make. As usual, he checked his log book, placed the frog on table, stared at what was left of the animal, reached for his scalpel and removed the last of the frog's legs. He then said: "JUMP!" But alas the frog did not leap. "JUMP! JUMP!" exclaimed the scientist. Still the frog did not leap. "JUMP!" yelled the scientist. The frog did not leap. The scientist, a little disappointed, finally wrote down in his log book:

  "Frogs, when deprived of all legs, become deaf."

HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH YOUR PUPPY

Remove film from box and load camera.
Remove film box from puppy's month and throw in trash.
Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
Choose a suitable background for photo.
Mount camera on tripod, check flash and focus.
Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
Focus with one hand while fending off puppy with other hand.
Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose. Put magazines back on coffee table.
Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say- "No, no outside!"
Call spouse to help clean up the mess.
Fix a drink.
Sit back in chair, put your feet up, sip your drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.

Well all, that it for TID-Bits 5. I hope it brought a little smile on your face. If, while surfing the Web you run across some cute animal Cartoons or Jokes that you would like to see in TID-Bits, E-mail them to me at: trudge@cfl.rr.com  
I will try and get them in. Again I thank you all. Tom

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