~~TWO PUPS~~

AN EXCITING THOUGHT POPPED INTO MY HEAD TODAY,
WHILE I SAT WATCHING TO YOUNG PUPPIES PLAY.
HOW MUCH WE COULD LEARN IF WE ONLY WOULD LOOK
AT THESE CREATURES WHO HAVE NEVER READ A BOOK.
JEALOUSY, HATRED, GOSSIP AND GREED
ARE RARELY FOUND IN DOGS, NO MATTER THE BREED.
WHAT DO THEY KNOW THAT WE DO NOT?
OBVIOUSLY, THROUGH THEY'RE NOT TELLING, QUITE A LOT.
OF COURSE, TWO PUPS MAY SQUABBLE OVER A BONE.
BUT SOON YOU WILL FIND IT LEFT ALL ALONE,
WHILE THE FORMER COMBATANTS SNUGGLE CLOSE, SOUND ASLEEP.
SECURE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THEIR TREASURE WILL KEEP.
WARMTH AND CLOSENESS MEAN SO MUCH MORE TO THEM,
EVEN THOUGH THE BATTLE WILL PROBABLY BEGIN AGAIN.
IT IS MORE PLAYFUL THAT SERIOUS, THIS GAME OF TUG
AND WILL END AGAIN WITH THEM BOTH ASLEEP, CLOSE ON THE RUG.
WHEN TWO HUMANS DECIDE THEY WANT THE SAME THING,
WHATEVER THE OBJECT, THEY BOTH WILL CLING.
 GRIMLY DETERMINED THAT EACH IS RIGHT,
NO MATTER HOW LONG, THEY CONTINUE TO FIGHT.
LET'S LOOK AT THOSE PUPPIES, ASLEEP AT OUR FEET.
HAS EITHER LOST THAT TREASURE HE TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP?
NOT REALLY, AS IT LAYS JUST A FEW FEET AWAY
NOT A TREASURE TROVE, JUST AN OBJECT OF PLAY.
AND THE TWO LITTLE CREATURES ARE THEY CONTENT?
COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY BECAUSE THEIR LITTLE SOULS ARE BENT
UPON KEEPING THIS FRIEND WHO PLAYS THIS GAME WITH THEM.
AND IS STILL WILLING TO SNUGGLE AGAIN AND AGAIN.
IF ONLY WE COULD LEARN THE GREAT LESSON HERE
THINGS ARE SO PRECIOUS, FRIENDSHIPS ARE DEAR.
WHAT GOOD WILL THIS THING DO US, THIS PRECIOUS BONE,
IF WE FIND OURSELVES LEFT COMPLETELY ALONE?
THE NEXT TIME IF I FIND MYSELF WANTING TO FIGHT,
I'LL REMEMBER THOSE PUPPIES AND, WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT,
I WILL TRY TO GIVE IT UP WITH A SHRUG
AND HOPE TO END UP SOUND ASLEEP, CLOSE ON THE RUG.

AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!!

DUCK CALL AND CATFISH BAIT

A LADY WENT INTO THE SPORTING SECTION OF WAL-MART
TO BUY HER HUSBAND A ROD FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.

SHE WENT UP TO THE SALESCLERK AND SAID, "I'M
HERE TO BUY A ROD FOR MY HUSBAND, CAN YOU HELP ME
PICK SOMETHING OUT?" THE MAN REPLIED, "TO TELL YOU
THE TRUTH, MA'AM, I'M BLIND, BUT IF YOU DROP A ROD
ON THE COUNTER, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS."

"OK." THE LADY SAID, SEEMING A BIT MYSTIFIED.
SHE PICKED UP A ROD AND DROPPED IT ON THE COUNTER,
AND IMMEDIATELY HE BEGAN TELLING HER ABOUT IT.
"ZEBCO ROD AND REEL..."
AMAZING, THE LADY SAID, "OKAY IT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD
GOOD ROD, HOW MUCH IS IT.
"$19.95" HE SAID.
"OKAY THEN I'LL BUY IT," SHE SAID.
AS SHE WAS STANDING THERE WAITING FOR HIM TO RING
IT UP SHE ACCIDENTALLY PASSED GAS. 'THE SALESCLERK
WON'T KNOW IT'S ME, BECAUSE HE'S BLIND,' SHE THOUGHT.
"THAT WILL BE $25.89," THE SALESCLERK SAID.
CONFUSED THE LADY SAID, "I THOUGHT THE ROD WAS
$19.95?"
"YEAH," THE MAN SAID," BUT THE DUCK CALL IS $3.OO
AND THE CATFISH BAIT IS $2.00."

THE MADE ME DO IT......TOM

WHAT IS HE?? CLICK ON PICTURE TO FIND OUT.

I hope you'll join me in supporting a sound energy policy, rather than the Bush-Cheney team's proposed giveaways to their oil buddies. 

http://www.moveon.org/stopcheney/

Electricity and gasoline price are skyrocketing and energy companies are taking record profits. What's the administration's response? 

Instead of challenging monopolies run amok, Cheney has come up with an innovative three point plan: rape, burn and pillage. Rape the environment. Burn fossil fuels 'til we choke. Pillage the consumer's pocket book.

This is simply wrong. The keys to a sensible long-term policy are conservation, efficiency, and aggressive development of renewable energy sources. We don't have to wreck the environment to live well.

Please join me in speaking out against plunder by energy tycoons. It's quick and easy. Just go to:

http://www.moveon.org/stopcheney/

Thank you. It's time to speak up for common sense. Please help spread the word.

Thanks MARGET 

GOD GAVE MAN THE EARTH TO ENJOY -
NOT TO DESTROY

"THE EARTH IS THE LORD'S AND FULLNESS THEREOF"
HE GAVE IT TO MAN AS A GIFT OF HIS LOVE
SO ALL MEN MIGHT LIVE AS HE HOPED THAT THEY WOULD,
SHARING TOGETHER ALL THINGS THAT WERE GOOD...

BUT MAN ONLY DESTROYED "THE GOOD EARTH OF GOD" 
HE POLLUTED THE AIR AND RAVISHED THE SOD,
HE CUT DOWN THE FORESTS WITH RUTHLESS DISDAIN,
AND THE EARTH'S NATURAL BEAUTY HE PERVERTED FOR GAIN..

AND ALL THAT GOD MADE AND ALL THAT HE MEANT
TO BRING MAN GREAT BLESSINGS AND A LIFE OF CONTENT
HAVE ONLY MADE MAN A "GIANT OF GREED"
IN A WORLD WHERE THE PASSWORD IS "SEX, SIN AND SPEED"..

AND NOW IN AN AGE FILLED WITH VIOLENT DISSENT
MAN FINDS HE'S IMPRISONED IN THIS OWN DISCONTENT.

HE HAS TAKEN THE EARTH THAT GOD PLACED IN MAN'S CARE
AND BUILT HIS ON "HELL" WITHOUT BEING AWARE
THAT THE FUTURE WE FACE WAS FASHI0NED BY MAN
WHO IN IGNORANCE RESISTED GOD'S BEAUTIFUL PLAN,
AND WHAT GOD CREATED TO BE PARADISE
BECAME BY MAN'S LUST AND PERVERSION AND VICE.

A "CALDRON OF CHAOS" IN A "FOG OF POLLUTION"
TO WHICH MAN CAN FIND NO CURE OR SOLUTION -
HOW FAR MAN WILL GO TO COMPLETE HIS DESTRUCTION
IS BEYOND A COMPUTER'S ROBOT DEDUCTION.

THE EARTH IS THE LORD'S AND THEY THAT DWELL THEREIN.
(PSALMS 24:1)

WRITTEN BY:  HELEN S. RICE

HOW TO CATCH A MOUSE

STOP AND STARE AT SMALL NOISES FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
APPROACH WELL KNOWN ARTICLES OF CLOTHING WITH A FULLY FLUFFED TAIL.
WHEN MOUSE ACTUALLY APPEARS, COMPLETELY IGNORE IT.
WAIT UNTIL OTHER HOUSEHOLD MEMBERS ARE SICK OF HEARING
MOUSE NOISES AND THEY SET A TRAP.

WHEN TRAP SUCCESSFULLY DOES IT'S JOB, PROUDLY TROT THROUGH THE
HOUSE WITH THE MOUSE (AND TRAP) IN YOUR MOUTH. IF EARLY MORNING,
DEPOSIT IT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR HUMANS BED.
YELL BLOODY MURDER WHEN THE MOUSE IS TAKEN AWAY AND THROWN
OUTSIDE. NEIGHBORHOOD CATS WILL TAKE ALL THE CREDIT.

ROLLER POOPIES - A CAT'S GAME

WARNING
DO NOT LET YOUR CAT READ THIS..........

Cat Roller Poopies - Rules of Play 

1. One or more cats and/or kittens may compete. 
2. Poopies used must be good and dry, and preferably rounded and small, in order to roll properly and fit into the various goals. 
3. A non-carpeted floor should be used as the playing court. 
4. Game is to be played at night, just as owners are about to fall asleep. 
5. Object of the game: 250 points to be scored within an 8 hour period of time divided into four 1 hour periods of play interchanged with four 1 hour periods of rest. 

Scoring 

1. Retrieval of poopies from the litter pan: 
A. Two-paw retrieval.............................2 points 
B. One-paw retrieval.............................5 points 
C. Retrieval of inadequate or mushy poopie.......minus 5 points 

2. Dribbling poopies 
A. Non-stop to within 4 feet of litter pan.......3 points 
B. Non-stop across the kitchen floor.............5 points 
C. Non-stop from pan, through kitchen and 
into living room............................7 points 
D. Same as C, done in presence of the owner's 
dinner guests..............................10 points 

3. Passing of poopies (in air at least 2 seconds) 
A. One kitty toss in air.........................3 points 
B. Completed forward pass........................5 points 
C. If poopie shatters on impact.................10 points 

4. Goals in Roller Poopies 
A. Under stove or refrigerator...................5 points 
B. Under furniture with 1" clearance............10 points 
C. Dead center of food plate....................15 points 
D. Water dish...................................25 points 

5. Bonus points 
A. Water dish goals 
1) For every hour before discovery..........5 points 
2) If nearly dissolved upon discovery......10 points 
3) If owner gags when dumping..............15 points 

B. For placing in 3:00 A.M. path to bathroom 
so owner steps on it with bare feet........10 points 
If stepped on with fleshy part of arch.......15 points 

C. Movement of poopies up the stairs 
1) With mouth (never observed)..............5 points 
2) Using paws, 1 step at a time............10 points 
3) On wooden steps between 12:00-6:00 A.M.....20 points 

D. Night-time bonus 
1) After lights out.........................5 points 
2) After 2:00 A.M..........................10 points 
3) If owner confiscates it, having another 
one in play within 10 minutes.........15 points 

Well I did it again, I got carried away with Tid-Bits 43.
Sorry that it took so long to download.

I hope you enjoyed it and you will pass it on.

If you have any suggestions or additions or even
any ideas to improve Tid-Bits please do not hesitate
to pass them on to me. 

E-mail

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If there is anything special in Tid-Bits that you liked
(poem, joke, story,) let me know and I will try and find
more like it. Please if you have not sign my guest-book
and leave your tracks.

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Hug's To All
Tom

P.S. If you have not already, please check out my screensaver:

/screensaver.htm
Click above

P.P.S.  I will be gone on vacation June 11th thru the 18th to BLAIRSVILLE Jaw-Jaw
(Ga.)  You readers in Georgia are warned. (Hide all your critters.) Please hold all your
e-mail to me. My server will appreciate it. I will be at: 7 Creeks Cabins. If you have
a emergency (critter wise) you may e-mail me at: cabins@7creeks.com  Attn: Tom Rudge
I will be hiking the Appalachian Trail, exploring Vogel State Park, Brasstown Bald, Georgia's tallest Peak, and of course fishing, and panning for gold in nearby streams.

IN JAW-JAW

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