~~RACE TO THE HEART~~
BY ARVALL K WROTEN (WITH PERMISSION)

I WAS ON MY WAY TO WORK IN OCTOBER OF 1998 WHEN I SAW A BOX TURTLE AT THE EDGE
OF THE ROAD TRYING TO CROSS ROUTE 13. I PULLED OVER AND GOT OUT TO MOVE HIM
TO SAFETY. THIS HAS BEEN A HABIT OF MINE FOR YEARS. THE FIRST THING I NOTICED AS
I WALKED TOWARD HIM WAS THE BEAUTIFUL COLORS OF HIS SHELL AND SCALES.
HE WAS COLORED LIKE THE LEAVES OF A FALL FOREST -- REDS, GOLD'S. AND ORANGES
LIT BY DAPPLED SUNLIGHT.

I WAS ABOUT TWENTY FEET AWAY WHEN THE LITTLE TURNED HIS HEAD MY WAY, AND
LOOKED AT ME. HE MUST HAVE FIGURED THAT I WAS A THREAT BECAUSE HE DECIDED
TO TURN AROUND AND HEAD BACK INTO THE GRASSY COVER OF THE DITCH.
AS HE BEGAN TO MANEUVER, I SAW HIS RIGHT FRONT ARM WAS GONE AT THE SHOULDER
ABD HIS LEFT REAR LEG WAS GONE FROM ABOUT THE RADIUS DOWNWARD. HIS LITTLE
SHELL TIPPED FORWARD AND DOWN TO THE RIGHT, THEN UP, AND BACK TO THE LEFT
AS HE HOBBLED AROUND, JUST AS QUICK AS HE COULD MANAGE -- ALL THE WHILE TRYING
TO KEEP AN EYE ON ME. HIS TURNING WAS WIDE AND TAKING HIM DANGEROUSLY CLOSE
TO THE ROADWAY AND THE TRAFFIC. I HURRIED OVER AND PICKED HIM UP.

HE NEVER HISSED, OR PULLED INTO HIS SHELL. HE SAT IN MY HANDS AND LOOKED AT ME
WITH HIS BROWN EYES BLINKING. THERE WAS AN AWARENESS IN HIS EYES. I SAW IT IN
WAY HIS GAZE FLITTERED AROUND MY FACE.
HE WAS LIGHT AS A FEATHER, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS OBVIOUSLY A FULL GROWN TORTOISE
OF SOME AGE. THE EDGES OF HIS SHELL WERE PITTED AND DEEPLY RUTTED, THE 
TOPMOST PORTION LOOKED AS IF HE'D BEEN DRAGGED UPSIDE DOWN ON THE GRAVEL.
HIS BELLY PLATE WAS CONCAVE WHICH MEANT A MALE, AND HAD BEEN CRACKED IN
SEVERAL PLACES. THERE WAS A LARGE DIAGONAL GASH RUNNING FROM THE HINGE TO 
JUST UNDER THE MISSING FRONT ARM. THIS CAUSED A FORWARD-FACING V WHICH HAD
DUG IN WHEN TURNED. HIS DISABILITIES MUST HAVE MAD FEEDING A DIFFICULT JOB.

PROBABLY THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT A RACCOON OR OPOSSUM FROM DIGGING HIM UP
AT NIGHT WAS THE PROXIMITY OF THE HIGHWAY. I STOOD THERE AT THE EDGE OF THE
HIGHWAY HOLDING THIS GALLANT LITTLE GUY, LOOKING AT HIS OLD INJURIES, AND 
LOOKING INTO HIS LITTLE FACE WITH ONE OF HIS ARMS WRAPPED TIGHTLY AROUND MY
THUMB. I COULD NOT RESIST GENTLY STROKING THAT LITTLE HEAD AND NECK.
INSTEAD OF PULLING HIS HEAD AWAY DEFENSIVELY, THIS OLD FELLOW WHO HAD BEEN
THROUGH SO MUCH HURT MERELY CLOSED HIS EYES.

HE OWNED ME THEN AND THERE, EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THE LITTLE
SWEETHEART WOULD SIT WITH ME FOR HOURS FASCINATED BY THE LIGHT AND SOUND
OF THE TELEVISION -- HIS LITTLE FACE SO INTENT AND EARNEST, AS HIS EYES FOLLOW
THE FLICKER OF THE SCREEN. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW CUTE THE LITTLE GUY WOULD 
BE WHEN HE DIGS INTO THE TERRARIUM BEDDING OSTRICH-STYLE, LEAVING HIS LITTLE
ROUND BUTT IN THE AIR, WHICH I COVER FOR HIM. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WHEN THE
WEATHER WAS COLD AND DAMP OUTSIDE THAT THE LITTLE FELLOW WOULD HUDDLE
UP AGAINST MY THROAT -- THAT MY BODY HEAT MUST FEEL GOOD TO HIS LITTLE
STUBS THEN. BUT I KNEW THAT MY HEART WAS STOLEN.

Thanks Iz.               ANOTHER RESCUE SUCCESS 

YOU KNOW A GREEN GARDEN SNAKE

CAN BE DANGEROUS.

A COUPLE IN SWEETWATER, TEXAS HAD A LOT OF POTTED PLANTS,
AND DURING A RECENT COLD SPELL, THE WIFE WAS BRINGING IN A LOT 
OF THEM INDOORS TO PROTECT THEM FROM A POSSIBLE FREEZE.

IT TURNED OUT THAT A LITTLE GREEN GARDEN SNAKE WAS HIDDEN IN
ONE OF THE PLANTS AND WHEN IT HAD WARMED UP, IT SLITHERED OUT
AND THE WIFE SAW IT GO UNDER THE SOFA.

SHE LET OUT A VERY LOUD SCREAM. THE HUSBAND WAS TAKING A 
SHOWER RAN OUT INTO THE LIVING ROOM NAKED TO SEE WHAT THE
PROBLEM WAS. SHE TOLD HIM THERE WAS A SNAKE UNDER THE SOFA.
HE GOT DOWN ON THE FLOOR ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES TO LOOK FOR IT.
ABOUT THAT TIME THE FAMILY DOG CAME AND COLD-NOSED HIM IN THE
BUTT.

HE THOUGHT THE SNAKE HAD BITTEN HIM, SO HE FAINTED THE WIFE 
THOUGHT HE HAD A HEART ATTACK, SO SHE CALLED THE AMBULANCE.
THE ATTENDANTS RUSHED IN AND LOADED HIM ON THE THE STRETCHER
AND STARTED CARRYING HIM OUT.
ABOUT THAT TIME THE SNAKE CAME OUT FROM UNDER THE SOFA AND
THE EMERGENCY MEDICAL TECHNICIAN SAW IT AND DROPPED HIS END
IF THE STRETCHER. THAT'S WHEN THE MAN BROKE HIS LEG AND WHY
HE IS IN THE HOSPITAL.
THE WIFE STILL HAD A PROBLEM OF THE SNAKE IN THE HOUSE, SO SHE
CALLED ON A NEIGHBOR MAN. HE VOLUNTEERED TO CAPTURE THE SNAKE.
HE ARMED HIMSELF WITH A ROLL-UP NEWSPAPER AND BEGAN POKING
UNDER THE COUCH. SOON HE DECIDED IT WAS GONE AND TOLD THE
WOMEN, WHO SAT DOWN ON THE SOFA IN RELIEF.
BUT IN RELAXING, HER HAND DANGLED IN BETWEEN THE CUSHIONS,
WHERE SHE FELT THE SNAKE WRIGGLING AROUND. SHE SCREAMED AND
FAINTED, THE SNAKE RUSHED BACK UNDER THE SOFA, AND THE 
NEIGHBOR MAN SEEING HER LAYING THERE PASSED OUT TRIED TO USE
CPR TO REVIVE HER. THE NEIGHBOR'S WIFE, WHO HAD JUST RETURNED
FROM SHOPPING AT THE GROCERY STORE, SAW HER HUSBAND'S MOUTH
ON THE WOMAN'S MOUTH AND SLAMMED HER HUSBAND IN THE BACK OF
THE HEAD WITH A BAG OF CANNED GOODS, KNOCKING HIM OUT AND 
CUTTING HIS SCALP TO A POINT WHERE IT NEED STITCHES.

AN AMBULANCE WAS AGAIN CALLED AND IT WAS DETERMINED THAT THE
INJURY REQUIRED HOSPITALIZATION. THE NOISE WOKE THE WOMEN
FROM HER DEAD FAINT AND SHE SAW HER NEIGHBOR LYING ON THE FLOOR
HIS WIFE BENDING OVER HIM, SO SHE ASSUMED HE HAD BEEN BITTEN
BY THE SNAKE.
SHE WENT TO THE KITCHEN, BROUGHT BACK A SMALL BOTTLE OF WHISKEY,
AND BEGAN POURING IT DOWN THE MAN'S THROAT.

BY NOW THE POLICE ARRIVED HAD ARRIVED. THEY SAW THE UNCONSCIOUS
MAN, SMELLED THE WHISKEY, AND ASSUMED THAT A DRUNKEN FIGHT
HAD OCCURRED. THEY WERE ABOUT TO ARREST THEM ALL, WHEN THE
WOMEN TRIED TO EXPLAIN HOW IT ALL HAPPENED OVER A LITTLE GREEN
SNAKE. THEY CALLED AN AMBULANCE. WHICH TOOK AWAY THE NEIGHBOR
AND HIS SOBBING WIFE.

JUST THEN THE LITTLE SNAKE CRAWLED OUT FROM UNDER THE COUCH.
ONE OF THE POLICEMAN DREW HIS GUN AND FIRED AT IT. HE MISSED THE
SNAKE AND HIT THE LEG OF THE END TABLE THAT WAS ON ONE SIDE
OF THE SOFA. THE TABLE FELL OVER AND THE LAMP ON IT SHATTERED
AND THE BULB BROKE, IT STARTED A FIRE IN THE DRAPES. THE OTHER
POLICEMAN TRIED TO BEAT OUT THE FLAMES AND FELL THROUGH THE
WINDOW INTO THE YARD ON TOP OF THE FAMILY DOG, WHO STARTLED
JUMPED UP AND RACED OUT INTO THE STREET, WHERE AN ONCOMING

CAR SWERVED TO AVOID IT AND SMASHED INTO THE PARKED POLICE CAR
AND SET ON FIRE.
MEANWHILE THE BURNING DRAPES HAD SPREAD TO THE WALLS AND THE
ENTIRE HOUSE WAS BLAZING. NEIGHBORS HAD CALLED THE FIRE
DEPARTMENT AND THE ARRIVING FIRE-TRUCK HAD STARTED RAISING
HIS LADDER AS THEY WERE HALFWAY DOWN THE STREET.
THE RAISING LADDER TORE OUT THE OVERHEAD WIRES AND PUT OUT
THE ELECTRICITY AND DISCONNECTED THE TELEPHONES IN A TEN-SQUARE
CITY BLOCK AREA.

TIME PASSED---------------

BOTH MEN WERE DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL; THE HOUSE WAS
RE-BUILT; THE POLICE ACQUIRED A NEW CAR AND ALL WAS RIGHT WITH
THEIR WORLD.

ABOUT A YEAR LATER THEY WERE WATCHING TV AND THE WEATHERMAN
ANNOUNCED A CLOD SNAP FOR THAT NIGHT. THE HUSBAND ASKED HIS
WIFE IF SHE THOUGHT THEY SHOULD BRING IN THEIR PLANTS FOR THE
NIGHT.

SHE SHOT HIM! ! ! ! !

Thanks CarolB

 

.

10 TOP SIGNS YOUR HAMSTER DOESN'T
 
GET ENOUGH ATTENTION

1.  HE KEEPS WAVING AND TAPPING ON THE GLASS EVERY
    TIME YOU WALK BY HIS CAGE.
2.  HE STARTED WEAVING LITTLE BASKETS OUT OF THE 
    WOODCHIP BEDDING.
3.  HE MADE LITTLE SCULPTURES OUT OF THE SEEDS IN 
    HIS CAGE.
4.  HE TOOK UP GARDENING AND PLANTED SUNFLOWER 
    SEEDS IN THE CORNER OF HIS CAGE.
5.  HE HAS A TINY LITTLE IMAGINARY HAMSTER FRIEND.
6.  YOU NOTICE THAT SOME OF YOUR STUFFED ANIMALS
     ARE MISSING AND YOU FIND THEM IN THE HAMSTERS
     CAGE.
7.  YOU COULD SWEAR HIS SQUEAKING SOUNDS LIKE THE
    TUNE TO "I'M SO LONESOME I COULD CRY."
8.  YOU TRY AND FIGURE OUT HOW HE MANAGES TO KEEP
    GETTING AWAY, AND YOU FIND A TINY BOOK IN HIS
    CAGE..."THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO."
9.   HE HAS MOLD GROWING ON HIM.
10.  YOU FIND A TINY LITTLE SUICIDE NOTE IN THIS CAGE.

~~NO RESPECT~~

TWO BUFFALO WERE STANDING ON THE RANGE WHEN A PASSING
TOURIST SAID " THOSE ARE THE MOST MANGIEST,
 MOST AWFUL, MOTH-EATEN, MISERABLE BEASTS
 I HAVE EVER SEEN."

ONE OF THE BUFFALO TURNED TO THE OTHER AND SAID,
"YOU KNOW....I THINK WE JUST HEARD A DISCOURAGING WORD."

OH, WHEN WE GET TO HEAVEN
WE HOPE THAT WE WILL FIND
THE SOULS THAT ONCE WE LOVED,
WHO LEFT US ALL BEHIND.

SOME LEFT US AT THE RIGHT TIME,
THEY LEFT THIS WORLD IN PEACE
OTHERS LEFT TO SUDDEN,
WITHOUT A CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE.
THEY WERE GONE BEFORE WE HAD
THE CHANCE TO EVEN CRY.

THERE'S A SPECIAL PLACE FOR GROWNUPS,
A SPECIAL PLACE FOR KIDS;
ME, I'LL BE ON THE OTHER SIDE,
THE SIDE CALLED RAINBOW BRIDGE.

ACROSS THE DARK GREEN MEADOW,
ON TOP THE HILLS I RUN.
WHERE THE COLORS FROM THE RAINBOW,
GLITTER FROM THE BRIGHT  BRIGHT SUN.

AND THERE I'LL FIND MY SWEETHEART
RUNNING FAST TOWARD ME.
IN MY ARMS WHERE BE BELONGS
FOR ALL ETERNITY.

JEAN MC COLGAN

RESPONSE TO RAINBOW BRIDGE

WEEP NOT FOR ME THOUGH I AM GONE 
INTO THE GENTLE NIGHT
GRIEVE IF YOU WILL, BUT NOT FOR LONG,
UPON MY SOULS SWEET FLIGHT.

I AM AT PEACE, MY SOUL'S AT REST,
THERE IS NO NEED FOR TEARS.
FOR WITH YOUR LOVE I WAS SO BLESSED,
FOR ALL THOSE MANY YEARS.

THERE US NO PAIN, I SUFFER NOT THE
FEAR NOW IS ALL GONE.
PUT NOW THESE THINGS OF YOUR THOUGHTS,
IN YOUR MEMORY I LIVE ON.

REMEMBER NOT MY FIGHT FOR BREATH,
REMEMBER NOT MY STRIFE.
PLEASE DO NOT DWELL UPON MY DEATH,
BUT CELEBRATE MY LIFE.

Thanks ABDRDUDE

TO MANY ANIMALS

A SMALL BOY WALKED INTO A POLICE STATION ONE DAY
AND SAID, "I'VE GOT THREE BIG BROTHERS AND WE ALL
LIVE IN THE SAME ROOM.
MY ELDEST BROTHER HAS SEVEN CATS. ANOTHER ONE
HAS THREE DOGS AND THE THIRD HAS A GOAT.

I WANT YOU TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE SMELL.
"ARE THERE ANY WINDOWS IN YOUR ROOM?" ASKED THE OFFICER.
"YES OF COURSE THERE ARE!" SAID THE BOY.
"HAVE YOU TRIED OPENING THEM?" ASKED THE OFFICER.

"WHAT AND LOSE ALL MY PIGEONS"
REPLIED THE BOY.

Pictured above are: (Bottom) Twitch,  (Right) Trouble,  (Left) Tweek.
It is with great sadness that Trouble (Female) passed away. She had
bad intestinal problems to which myself and the Vet did all we could.
She died in my hands on March 29th.  She is not dead in my heart.

A

Above are Twitch and Tweek. They sure are getting big. I guess that
that is what happens when you feed them. I am often asked, what
are you going to do with them when they are grown up. Well here
is a little story that will explain it.

~WHERE WILD THINGS SHOULDN'T BE~
How would you like to live in a cage that was just about 5 feet
square. With no toys to play with and nothing to do,  just you,
a bed and a chair? Oh, sure you'd be fed (the same thing each day)
You'd have water (unless they forgot) and since you would never be
going outside, you wouldn't get cold, or to hot.
But oh, you would be lonely just sitting alone with no one to talk at
all. You'd remember the trees, and the grass and the breeze, the 
places where you used to play.
You'd remember your friends, you'd remember the sky, and the games
and the strawberry's and sun and you'd know you could never go 
skating again, or go swimming, or bike riding or run.
You'd get mad and scream and throw things around; You'd kick and
you'd pound on the wall. And your owners would scold you, and say
to themselves, "He isn't a nice pet at all!"
The more you got mad, the less they would like you. The less they
would remember to care about if you had water or if you got fed,
or if you were lonely in there.
And then you would know what it's like to be kept as a 
pet when you're meant to be free. and you'd listen when
wild things are trying to say "Please don't make a pet
out of me."

Beverly Armstrong                        Thanks Dee.

WATCH WHERE YOU WALK


THREE GUYS DIE IN A ACCIDENT AND GO TO HEAVEN, WHEN THEY GET
THERE, ST. PETER SAYS, "WE ONLY HAVE ONE RULE IN HEAVEN.
DON'T STEP ON THE DUCKS!"
SO THEY ENTER HEAVEN AND SURE ENOUGH, THERE ARE DUCKS ALL
OVER THE PLACE. IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO STEP ON A DUCK,
AND ALTHOUGH THEY TRY THEIR BEST TO AVOID THEM, THE FIRST GUY
ACCIDENTALLY STEPS ON ONE.

ALONG COMES ST. PETER WITH THE UGLIEST WOMEN HE EVER SAW.

ST. PETER CHAINED THEM TOGETHER AND SAYS, "YOUR PUNISHMENT
FOR STEPPING ON A DUCK IS TO SPEND ETERNITY CHAINED TO THIS
UGLY WOMEN.
THE NEXT DAY, THE SECOND GUY STEPS ACCIDENTALLY ON A DUCK 
AND ALONG COMES ST. PETER, WHO DOESN'T MISS A THING, AND
WITH HIM IS ANOTHER EXTREMELY UGLY WOMAN. HE CHAINS THEM
TOGETHER WITH THE SAME ADMONISHMENT AS THE FIRST GUY.
THE THIRD GUY HAS OBSERVED THIS AND NOT WANTING TO BE 
CHAINED FOR ALL ETERNITY TO AN UGLY WOMAN, IS VERY CAREFUL
WHERE HE STEPS. HE MANAGES TO GO MONTHS WITHOUT STEPPING
ON ANY DUCK. ONE DAY ST. PETER COMES UP TO HIM WITH THE 
MOST GORGEOUS WOMAN HE HAD EVER LAID EYES ON, A VERY

TALL, TANNED, CURVACEOUS, SEXY BLOND. ST. PETER CHAINS THEM
TOGETHER WITHOUT SAYING A WORD. THE GUY REMARKS, "WONDER
WHAT I DID TO DESERVE BEING CHAINED TO YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY?"

SHE SAYS, "I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I STEPPED ON A DUCK."

BOY WHAT A LET-DOWN.

Thanks Dee

THAT'S IT FOR TID-BITS 41
I SINCERELY HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT AND YOU PASS IT ON
TO SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS.

IF YOU HAVE ANY COMMENTS OR SUGGESTIONS PLEASE E-MAIL ME.

AGAIN, TO EVERYONE, A VERY HAPPY AND SAFE EASTER.

IF YOU HAVEN'T YET, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR TRACKS IN
IN MY GUEST BOOK.

Newest Thing

Click Here 
to send a FREE online
 Tid-Bits E-card!

If you have a 
wildlife oriented web site,
  CLICK HERE,
 to apply for a 
"Wildlife Aware Award"