HOME OF THE BIG CATS!

~~A TRUE SUCCESS STORY~~

AS ALL OF YOU KNOW, (OR SHOULD). I HAVE BEEN
REHABILITATING WILDLIFE FOR 25 YEARS. IT HAS
ALWAYS BEEN MY BELIEF THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE
NOT QUALIFIED SHOULD NOT ATTEMPT TO RAISE
ANY TYPE OF WILDLIFE. THEY SHOULD CONTACT
A WILDLIFE REHABILITATOR AND BRING IT TO 
THEM. I COULD TELL YOU A THOUSAND HORROR
STORY'S ABOUT UNQUALIFIED PEOPLE ATTEMPTING
TO RAISE WILDLIFE.

BUT AS YOU KNOW THEIR IS ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS
TO THE RULE. IN THIS CASE CHERYL WORKED
IN A VETERINARY'S OFFICE AND WAS VERY 
FAMILURE WITH ANIMALS. THERE WERE NO
WILDLIFE REHABILITATOR'S IN HER AREA SO
SHE TOOK ON THE JOB. THIS IS HER STORY.

 (CLICK) 
CONGRATULATIONS CHERYL.
***NOTE "TIPPER" HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE
WILD AND IS NOW ENJOYING LIFE***
SEND HER A GREAT BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE:
kibbi@tir.com

The Lone Ranger Rides Again                                                                                                    

ONE MORNING THE LONE RANGER WAS RIDING THROUGH THE DESERT
AND COMES ACROSS TONTO WITH HIS EAR PRESSED AGAINST THE
GROUND. SO, THE LONE RANGER GOT OFF AND ASKED TONTO WHAT
HE WAS LISTENING FOR. TONTO REPLIED, WITH HIS HEAD STILL TO
THE GROUND, "ABOUT ONE HOUR AGO A CARRIAGE WITH SIX HORSES,
TWO BLACK, AND FOUR BROWN, TWO MEN RIDING ON THE FRONT,
AND A WELL DRESSED LADY INSIDE AND WITH A HUGE CHEST FULL
OF CLOTHES CAME PAST.

"WOW," THE LONE RANGER REPLIED "AND YOU CAN TELL ALL THIS
JUST LISTENING LIKE THAT?"
"NO," TONTO REPLIED " I WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING AT SOME
RABBIT TRACKS WHEN THEY DROVE OVER MY NECK."

:-) THE RICH MAN (-:

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN WHO HAD LOTS OF , HE LIVED IN A BIGAND LOTS OF WOMEN.

WELL WHEN A MAN HAS EVERYTHING HE GETS BORED. TO REDUCE THE BOREDOM, OUR MAN HAD AN ANNUAL PARTY THAT WAS JUST AMAZING.
EVERY YEAR HE WOULD OUTDO THE PREVIOUS YEAR.

HE WAS STILL BORED.

ONE YEAR HE HAD A IDEA. HE FILLED THE POOL WITH
ALLIGATORS.
HALFWAY THROUGH THE ANNUAL PARTY, HE ANNOUNCED "ANYONE WHO
CAN SWIM THROUGH MY POOL AND GET OUT THE OTHER SIDE STILL
ALIVE CAN HAVE MY HOUSE.
THERE WAS SILENCE.
THEN HE ADDED, "ANYONE THAT CAN SWIM THROUGH MY POOL AND GET OUT THE OTHER SIDE STILL ALIVE CAN HAVE MY HOUSE AND ALL MY INVESTMENTS AND STOCKS."
STILL SILENCE.
SWEETENING THE OFFER HE ADDED, "ANYONE WHO CAN SWIM THROUGH MY POOL AND GET OUT THE OTHER SIDE STILL ALIVE, CAN HAVE MY HOUSE, MY STOCKS, MY INVESTMENTS AND ALL MY MONEY."

SUDDENLY, THERE'S A LOUD SPLASH. THERE'S A MAN IN THE POOL FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE WITH THE ALLIGATORS.

ITS A STRUGGLE, BUT HE MANAGES TO SWIM ACROSS THE POOL. HE JUST MAKES IT TO THE OTHER END AND CLIMBS OUT, HALF DEAD WITH ONE ARM AND ONE LEG.
"OH MY GOD" SAID THE RICH MAN THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. "WHEN DO YOU WANT THE HOUSE?
"I DON'T WANT THE HOUSE" SAID THE POOR GUY.
"WHEN DO YOU WANT THE MONEY?"
"I DON'T WANT THE MONEY."
"WHEN DO YOU WANT ALL MY STOCKS AND INVESTMENTS?"
"I DON'T WANT ALL YOUR STOCKS AND INVESTMENTS."
SO THE RICH GUY SAYS "WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT THEN?"

"I WANT THE JERK THAT PUSHED ME IN."

~~~~A FRIEND~~~~

A FRIEND GIVES YOU A HORSE...
YOU BUILD A SMALL SHELTER...$750.00
YOU FENCE A PADDOCK...$450.00
PURCHASE A SMALL TRUCK TO HAUL HAY...$12,000
PURCHASE A USED 2 HORSE TRAILER...$2,800
PURCHASE A SECOND HORSE...$2,500
BUILD A LARGER SHELTER WITH STORAGE...$2,000
MORE FENCING...$1,200
PURCHASE A THIRD HORSE...$1,500
PURCHASE A 4 HORSE TRAILER...$7,500
PURCHASE A LARGER TRUCK...$18,000
PURCHASE 4 ACRES NEXT DOOR...$28,000
PURCHASE MORE FENCING...$2,000
BUILD SMALL BARN...$16,000
PURCHASER CAMPER FOR TRUCK...$9,000
PURCHASE A TRACTOR...$12,000
PURCHASE A 4TH AND 5TH HORSE...$4,500
PURCHASE 20 MORE ACRES...$125,000
BUILD A HOUSE...$120.000
BUILD A BARN...$26,000
MORE FENCING AND CORRALS...$14,000
BUILD A COVERED ARENA...$60,000
PURCHASE DUALLY TRUCK...$34,000
PURCHASE A 6TH AND 7TH AND 8TH HORSE...$10,750
HIRE A FULL TIME TRAINER...$40,000
BUILD A HOUSE FOR TRAINER...$54,000
BUY A MOTOR HOME FOR SHOWS...$125,000
HIRE A ATTORNEY - WIFE IS LEAVING YOU FOR TRAINER...$5,000
DECLARE BANKRUPTCY, WIFE GOT EVERYTHING...
FRIEND FEEL SORRY FOR YOU - - - - - - AND

GIVES YOU A HORSE...

SHOOT FRIEND

THANKS LINDA

PLEASE READ AND SIGN THE PETITION. IT IS A ON 
GOING PETITION AND THE PURPOSE IS TO DRAW 
AWARENESS TO THIS SECRET ACTIVITY THAT 
CONDEMNS OUR BELOVED COMPANION ANIMALS TO 
TO A HORRIFIC DEATH.

ANYONE YOU KNOW??

NOT THE OTHER END NOW!

"ALLLLLEEE OOOP"

A CHAMPION JOCKEY IS ABOUT TO ENTER AN IMPORTANT RACE ON A 
NEW HORSE. THE HORSE'S TRAINER MEETS HIM BEFORE THE RACE AND
SAYS, "ALL YOU HAVE WITH THIS HORSE IS THAT EVERY TIME YOU
APPROACH A JUMP, YOU HAVE TO SHOUT, "ALLLLLEEE OOOP"! REAL
LOUDLY IN THE HORSE'S EAR.

THE JOCKEY THINKS THE TRAINER IS MAD BUT PROMISES TO SHOUT
THE COMMAND. THE RACE BEGINS AND THEY APPROACH THE FIRST
HURDLE. THE JOCKEY IGNORES THE TRAINER'S RIDICULOUS ADVICE
AND THE HORSE CRASHERS STRAIGHT THROUGH THE CENTER OF THE
THE JUMP. THEY CARRY ON AND APPROACH THE SECOND HURDLE. THE
JOCKEY, SOMEWHAT EMBARRASSED, WHISPERS "ALLLLLEEE OOOP!"
IN THE HORSE'S EAR. THE SAME THING HAPPENS-THE HORSE
CRASHES STRAIGHT THROUGH THE CENTER OF THE JUMP. AT THE 
THIRD HURDLE, THE JOCKEY THINKS, "IT'S NO GOOD, I'LL HAVE TO
DO IT" AND YELLS, ALLLLLEEE OOOP!" REAL LOUDLY.

SURE ENOUGH, THE HORSE SAILS OVER THE JUMP WITH NO PROBLEMS.
THIS CONTINUES FOR THE REST OF THE RACE, BUT DUE TO THE 
EARLIER PROBLEMS THE HORSE ONLY FINISHES THIRD. THE TRAINER
IS FUMING AND ASKS THE JOCKEY WHAT WENT WRONG.
THE JOCKEY REPLIES, "NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME-IT'S THIS 
BLOODY HORSE. WHAT IS HE -- DEAF OR SOMETHING?"

THE TRAINER REPLIES, "DEAF?? HE'S NOT DEAF - HE'S

BLIND!"

IT'S ONLY A JOKE READERS.

WHO IS THE WISE GUY?

A COWBOY RUSHED INTO THE SALOON YELLING. "ALL RIGHT WHO'S
THE WISE GUY THAT PAINTED MY HORSE BLUE?"

"FESS UP IF YOU DARE," SHOUTED THE COWBOY I AM JUST ABOUT 
TO CLEAN HOUSE WITH SOMEONE. JUST THEN THE BIGGEST,
MEANEST-LOOKING COWBOY HE HAD EVER SEEN GOT UP FROM 
ONE OF THE TABLES, RESTED HIS HANDS ON HIS GUN HANDLES
AND CALMLY STATED. "I DID, AND WHAT DID YOU WANT TO 
TELL ME?" THE COWBOY LOOKED UP AND DOWN AT THIS 
TERRIFYING FIGURE, SWALLOWED HARD AND REPLIED,
"JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW, THE FIRST COAT'S DRY!"

~~~When God Created Kitty Cats~~~

When God created kitty cats,
He had no recipe;
He knew He wanted something sweet,
As sweet as sweet could be.
~~
He started out with sugar,
Adding just a trace of spice;
Then stirred in drops of morning dew,
To keep them fresh and nice.
~~
He thought cats should be soft to pet,
Thus he gave them coats of fur;
So they could show they were content,
He taught them how to purr.
~~
He made for them long tails to wave,
While strutting down the walk;
Then trained them in meow-ology,
So they could do cat-talk.
~~
He made them into acrobats,
And gave them grace and poise;
Their wide-eyed curiosity,
He took from little boys.
~~
He put whiskers on their faces,
Gave them tiny ears for caps;
Then shaped their little bodies,
To snugly fit on laps.
~~
He gave them eyes as big as saucers,
To look into man's soul;
Then set tolerance for mankind,
as their purpose and their goal.
~~
Benevolent ... and ... Generous,
He made so many of them;
Then charged, with fatherly concern,
The human race to love them.
~~
When one jumped upon His lap,
God gently stroked its head;
The cat gave Him a kitty kiss,
"What wondrous love," God said.
~~
God smiled at His accomplishment,
So pleased with His creation;
And said, with pride, as He sat back,
"At last. . .I've reached purr-fection!"

~ Virginia Ellis ~

~~Bye Bye for Tid-Bits 38~~

I truly hope you enjoyed it and will pass it on to your friends. 

Please again be a Doer instead of a Viewer. It only takes a few
seconds of your time and your voice will be heard. 

I do appreciate all your E-Mails and I look forward to them.
Your E-mails keep me going and it is great to hear from
from all of you. Please any comments or suggestions or
just to say Hi. Send them to trudge@cfl.rr.com

Until Tid-Bits 39 Bless you all.

Tom

If you have not please leave your tracks in my Guest Book.

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