tidbits37

GRAY WOLVES

GRAY WOLFS ARE SUCH BEAUTIFUL CREATURES
AND ARE SO MISUNDERSTOOD,
SO MANY PEOPLE HATE THEM AND WOULD KILL THEM
IF THEY COULD.

THEY ARE ACTUALLY AFRAID OF PEOPLE
AND JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.
THEY ARE PRESENTLY ENDANGERED SPECIES
AND THE FUTURE IS UNKNOWN.

MOST OF THE ANIMALS THEY HUNT
ARE INJURED AND OR WEAK.
THEY ARE THE MISFORTUNES OF NATURE
AND THAT IS WHAT WOLFS WILL THE SEEK.

THEIR FUR CAN MAKE THEM WITHSTAND
THE HARSHEST OF WEATHER.
THEY DO NOT LIKE TO LIVE ALONE
AND LOVE TO STAY TOGETHER.

THEY TRY TO AVOID HUMANS
AS MUCH AS THEY POSSIBLY CAN.
THEY MEAN NO HARM AND ARE ENDANGERED
BECAUSE THEY ARE HUNTED BY MAN.

THEY LIVE IN THE WILD AND
DESERVE TO RUN FREE.
PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THEM BETTER
AND JUST LET THEM RUN FREE.

~*INSTRUMENT FLYING FOR ANIMAL LOVERS*~

HAVING DETAILED THE CONCEPT OF ATTITUDE CONTROL, THERE IS ANOTHER
METHOD WHICH YOU MAY PREFER. FOR REASONS THAT WILL BECOME APPARENT,
IT IS RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE PILOTS WHOSE AIRPLANES HAVE LARGE, EASILY
CLEANED CABINS, KNOWN AS THE "CAT AND DUCK METHOD" OF INSTRUMENT FLIGHT,

IT HAS RECEIVED MUCH PUBLICITY AND IS CONSIDERED TO HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF
MERIT BY THOSE WHO HAVE NOT TRIED IT. NO REPORTS HAVE BEEN RECEIVED FROM
THOSE WHO DID TRY IT, AND NONE ARE EXPECTED. PILOTS ARE INVITED TO ACCESS
ITS MERITS OBJECTIVELY.

BASIC RULES FOR THE C&D METHOD OF INSTRUMENT FLIGHT ARE FAIRLY WELL KNOWN
AND ARE EXTREMELY SIMPLE. HERE'S HOW IT'S DONE:
1. PLACE A LIVE CAT ON THE COCKPIT FLOOR; BECAUSE A CAT ALWAYS REMAINS UPRIGHT.
IT CAN BE USED IN LIU OF A NEEDLE AND BALL. MERELY WATCH
TO SEE WHICH WAY THE CAT LEANS TO DETERMINE IF A WING IS LOW AND IF SO,
WHICH ONE.

2. THE DUCK IS USED FOR INSTRUMENT APPROACH AND LANDING. BECAUSE OF THE
FACT THAT ANY SENSIBLE DUCK WILL REFUSE TO FLY UNDER INSTRUMENT
CONDITIONS, IT IS ONLY NECESSARY TO HURL YOUR DUCK OUT OF
THE PLANE AND FOLLOW IT TO THE GROUND.
THEIR ARE SOME LIMITATIONS TO THE "CAT AND DUCK METHOD," BUT BY RIGIDLY
ADHERING TO THE FOLLOWING CHECKLIST, A DEGREE OS SUCCESS WILL BE ACHIEVED
WHICH WILL SURELY STARTLE YOU, YOUR PASSENGERS, AND EVEN AN OCCASIONAL
TOWER OPERATOR.
(1) GET A WIDE-AWAKE CAT. MOST CATS DO NOW WANT TO STAND UP AT ALL.
IT MAY BE NECESSARY TO CARRY A LARGE DOG IN THE COCKPIT TO KEEP
THE CAT AT ATTENTION.
(2) MAKE SURE YOUR CAT IS CLEAN. DIRTY CATS WILL SPEND ALL THEIR TIME
WASHING. TRYING TO FOLLOW A WASHING CAT USUALLY RESULTS IN A TIGHT
SNAP AND ROLL FOLLOWED BY A INVERTED SPIN.
(3) USE OLD CATS ONLY. YOUNG CATS HAVE NINE LIVES, BUT OLD, USED-UP CATS
WITH ONLY ONE LIFE LEFT HAVE JUST AS MUCH TO LOSE AS YOU DO AND WILL
BE MORE DEPENDABLE.
(4) BEWARE OF COWARDLY DUCKS. IF THE DUCK DISCOVERS THAT YOU ARE USING
THE CAST TO STAY UPRIGHT, IT WILL REFUSE TO LEAVE WITHOUT THE CAT.
DUCKS ARE NO BETTER THEN INSTRUMENT FLIGHT RULES CONDITIONS
THAN YOU ARE.

(5) BE SURE THE DUCK HAS GOOD EYESIGHT. NEARSIGHTED DUCKS SOMETIMES
FAIL TO REALIZE THAT THEY ARE ON THE GAUGES AND GO FLOGGING OFF.
VERY NEARSIGHTED DUCKS WILL NOT REALIZE THAT THEY HAVE BEEN
THROWN OUT AND WILL DESCEND TO THE GROUND IN A SITTING POSITION.
THIS MANEUVER IS DIFFICULT TO FOLLOW IN AN AIRPLANE.
(6) USE LAND-LOVING DUCKS. IT IS VERY DISCOURAGING TO BREAK OUT AND
FIND YOURSELF ON FINAL FOR A RICE PADDY, PARTICULARLY IF THERE ARE
DUCK HUNTERS AROUND. DUCK HUNTERS SUFFER FROM
TEMPORARY INSANITY WHILE SITTING IN FREEZING WEATHER IN BLINDS
AND WILL SHOOT AT ANYTHING THAT FLIES.
(7) CHOOSE YOUR DUCK CAREFULLY. IT IS EASY TO CONFUSE DUCKS WITH

GEESE BECAUSE MANY WATER BIRDS LOOK ALIKE. WHILE THEY ARE
COMPETENT INSTRUMENT FLYERS, GEESE SELDOM WANT TO GO IN
THE SAME DIRECTION AS YOU.

HAVE A PLEASANT TRIP.

**NOTE FROM TOM** - YOU ALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT ALL ANIMALS.
BEING DIRECTLY INVOLVED WITH ANIMAL CRUELTY FOR SEVERAL YEARS
THE ABOVE IS VERY NEAR TO ME. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE
TRUTH, DO NOT CLICK ON IT.

~~~~TO ALL THOSE OUT THERE IN RESCUE~~~~

"BE KIND TO YOURSELF"

WE OWE IT TO THE ANIMALS NOT TO TURN A BLIND EYE TO THEIR
SUFFERING, BUT WE MUST BE CAREFUL TO AVOID BECOMING
OVERWHELMED WITH SADNESS, TO THE EXTENT THAT WE NO
LONGER HAVE THE ENERGY TO FIGHT FOR THEIR PROTECTION.
.OUR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE IMMENSE CRUELTY AND PAIN THAT
EXISTS IN OUR WORLD MAKES US VULNERABLE TO DEPRESSION.
.AS A RESULT, ANIMAL ABUSERS SUCCEED NOT ONLY IN HARMING
ANIMALS, BUT IN HURTING US TOO AND IN REDUCING OUR
EFFECTIVENESS. I WENT THROUGH A TIME WHEN I FOUND IT
DIFFICULT TO APPRECIATE OR ENJOY ANYTHING ABOUT LIFE,
AS MY MIND WAS FOCUSED ON THE BILLIONS OF ANIMALS IN AGONY.

.EVEN THOUGH I HAD SO MUCH FOR WHICH TO BE GRATEFUL,
I FELT GUILTY ABOUT BEING JOYFUL WHILE THE ANIMALS
WERE MISERABLE.

.MY HOPELESS ATTITUDE WASN'T BENEFITING THE ANIMALS:
IT WAS REDUCING MY PRODUCTIVITY.

.WHEN I TOLD MY BOSS ABOUT MY BAD MOOD, HE OFFERED
SOME HELPFUL ADVICE: "DON'T THINK SO MUCH ABOUT THE
BIG PICTURE, JUST FOCUS ON YOUR WORK AND BE GLAD THAT
YOU ARE PART OF THE SOLUTION."

.HIS SUGGESTION TO NOT DWELL ON THE SUFFERING
PERSUADED ME TO ALLOW MYSELF SOME HAPPINESS.

.WHEN MY ATTITUDE IMPROVED, I FELT MORE ENERGETIC,
I FELT MORE ENERGETIC, AND WAS ABLE TO CONDUCT MY
DAILY TASKS WITH ENTHUSIASM ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE
I WAS MAKING FOR THE ANIMALS. KINDNESS TOWARD
ANIMALS MEANS BEING KIND TO OURSELVES TOO.

.THE ANIMALS DON'T WANT US TO SUFFER THE SADNESS. WE
AREN'T GUILTY OF THE CRUELTY INFLICTED UPON THEM,
SO LET'S NOT NOT PERMIT THE ANIMAL EXPLOITERS TO
SUCCEED AT MAKING US MISERABLE TO.

.IF WE CAN EDUCATE SOCIETY ABOUT THE FACTS OF ANIMAL
CRUELTY WHILE TRYING OUR BEST TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THE
GOOD THINGS IN OUR LIFE, OUR WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE.

.IT IS SO TRUE AND EVERY SOUL WHO STEADFASTLY PRESSES
ON TO HELP ANIMALS NEEDS TO READ THIS. IN OUR HEARTS
WE KNOW THE ANIMALS WOULD NOT WANT US TO BECOME
DEPRESSED. THEY UNDERSTAND HOW DEEPLY WE CARE.

.LET US ALL PUT ASIDE OUR MINOR DIFFERENCES WITH REGARD
TO ANIMAL RIGHTS AND TRULY BECOME UNITED IN 2001.
IF WE CAN SPEAK WITH A STRONG, LOVING, COMPASSIONATE
VOICE, WE WILL BE HEARD. WE WILL TOUCH HEARTS. WE WILL
BE THE CATALYST FOR LASTING CHANGES.

.THAT'S THE KEY WE MUST CHANGE PEOPLE'S .

BY LAURELEE BLANCHARD
(THANKS MONEYHUN)

GREETINGS WITH LOVE...
FROM A LONELY DOG

I WISH SOMEONE WOULD TELL ME WHAT IT IS
THAT I'VE DONE WRONG.
WHY DO I HAVE TO STAY CHAINED UP AND BE
LEFT ALONE SO LONG?
THEY SEEM SO GLAD TO HAVE ME WHEN
I CAME HERE AS A PUP.
THERE WAS SO MANY THINGS WE'D DO
WHILE I WAS GROWING UP.
THE MASTER SAID HE'D TRAIN ME AS A
COMPANION AND FRIEND.
THE MISTRESS SAID SHE'D NEVER FEAR
TO BE LEFT ALONE AGAIN.
THE CHILDREN SAID THEY'D FEED ME AND
BRUSH ME EVERY DAY.
THEY'D PLAY WITH ME AND WALK ME
IF I WOULD ONLY STAY.
BUT NOW THE MASTER "HASN'T TIME"
THE MISTRESS SAYS I SHED.
SHE DOESN'T WANT ME IN THE HOUSE
NOT EVEN TO BE FED.
THE CHILDREN NEVER WALK ME
THEY ALWAYS SAY "NOT NOW".
I WISH THAT I COULD PLEASE THEM.
WON'T SOME TELL ME HOW?
ALL I HAD, YOU SEE, WAS LOVE.
I WISH THEY WOULD EXPLAIN
WHY THEY SAID THEY WANTED MINE,
AND THEN LEFT ME ON A CHAIN.

-EDITH LASSEN JOHNSON-

~CAT - ENGLISH DIRECTORY~
NOW YOU WILL KNOW

CAT PHRASE MEANING

MIAOW FEED ME.

MEEOW PET ME.

MROOWW I LOVE YOU.

MIOO-OO-OO I AM IN LOVE AND MUST MEET MY BETROTHED
OUT BENEATH THE HEDGE. DON'T WAIT UP.

MROW I FEEL LIKE MAKING NOISE.

RRROW-MAWW PLEASE, THE TIE IS COME TO TIDY UP THE CAT BOX.

RRROW-MIAWWW I HAVE REMEDIED THE CAT BOX UNTIDINESS BY
SHOVELING THE CONTENTS AS FAR AS POSSIBLE

MIAOWMIAOW PLAY WITH ME.

MIAOWMIAOAW HAVE YOU NOTICED THE SHORTAGE OF AVAILABLE CAT
TOYS IN THIS ROOM.

MIOAWMIOAW                SINCE I CAN FIND NOTHING BETTER TO PLAY WITH
                                  I SHALL SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I SHARPEN MY
                                  CLAWS ON THIS HANDY PIECE OF FURNITURE.

RAOWWWWW I THINK I WILL SPEND SOME TIME LICKING THE
PART OF MY ANATOMY.

MROWWWWW I AM RECALLING, WITH SORROW, THAT SOME PRIVATE
PARTS DID NOT RETURN WITH ME FROM THE VET'S.

ROWW-MAWW-ROWW      I AM SO GLAD THAT RETURNED WITH BOTH HANDS
                                  FULL OF GROCERIES. I WILL NOW RUB AGAINST YOUR
                                  YOUR LEGS AND ATTEMPT TO TRIP YOU.

MMEWW                       I BELIEVE I HAVE HEARD A BURGLAR. IF YOU WANT TO
                                  AND BEAT HIM SENSELESS, I SHALL BE GLAD TO KEEP
                                  YOUR SPOT IN THE BED WARM.

GAKK-AK-AK                MY DIGESTIVE PASSAGES SEEM TO HAVE FORMED A
                                  HAIRBALL. WHEREVER COULD THIS HAVE COME FROM?
                                  I SHALL LEAVE IT ON THE CARPETING.

MOW SNUGGLING IS A GOOD IDEA..

MOWW SHEDDING IS PRETTY GOOD TOO.

MOWWW                        I WAS ENJOYING SNUGGLING AND SHEDDING IN THE
                                   WARM CLEAN LAUNDRY UNTIL YOU REMOVED ME SO
                                   SO UNKINDLY.

MIAW! MIAW!                   I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT, ALTHOUGH ONE MAY BE
                                   ABLE TO WEDGE HIS BODY THROUGH THE GAP BEHIND
                                   THE STOVE AND INTO THAT LITTLE DRAWER FILLED
                                    WITH POTS AND PANS. THE REVERSE IS SLIGHTLY
                                    MORE DIFFICULT TO NAVIGATE.

MRAAK! OH, SMALL BIRD! PLEASE COME OVER HERE.

SSSSROWW! I BELIEVE I HAVE FOUND A WOODCHUCK. I SHALL
NOW ACT TERRIBLY BRAVE.

MMMMMMM IF I SIT IN THE SUNSHINE FOR ANOTHER WEEK OR
SO, I THINK I SHALL BE SATISFIED.

SO TRUE, SO TRUE, SO TRUE - TOM

THE THREE MICE

THREE MICE ARE SITTING AT A BAR IN A PRETTY ROUGH
NEIGHBORHOOD LATE AT NIGHT TRYING TO IMPRESS
EACH OTHER ABOUT HOW TOUGH THEY ARE.

THE FIRST MOUSE DOWNS A SHOT OF BOOZE, SLAMS THE
GLASS ONTO THE BAR, TURNS TO THE SECOND MOUSE AND
SAYS "WHEN IS SEE A MOUSETRAP, I LIE ON MY BACK
AND SET IT OFF WITH MY FOOT. WHEN THE BAR COMES
DOWN, I CATCH IT IN MY TEETH, BENCH PRESS IT TWENTY
TIMES TO WORK UP A APPETITE, AND MAKE OFF WITH
THE CHEESE."

THE SECOND MOUSE ORDERS UP TWO SHOTS OF BOOZE,
DOWNS THEM BOTH, SLAMS EACH GLASS ON THE BAR,
TURNS TO THE FIRST MOUSE, AND REPLIES, "YEAH, WELL
WHEN I SEE RAT POISON, I COLLECT AS MUCH AS I CAN,
TAKE IT HOME, GRIND IT UP TO POWDER, AND ADD IT TO MY
CHEESE EACH MORNING SO I CAN GET A GOOD BUZZ GOING
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY."

THE FIRST MOUSE AND THE SECOND MOUSE THEN TURN TO
THIRD MOUSE.

THE THIRD MOUSE LETS OUT A LONG SIGH AND SAYS TO
THE FIRST TWO, "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. I'VE GOT
A HOT DATE WITH THE CAT. " BYE BYE......

FIRST LIAR HASN'T A CHANCE. TOM

This page was last updated on 03/17/02.
Please contact Thomas Rudge with questions and comments about this site.
You can reach me in ICQ my number is 2709551
Site designed and built by
Creations by Xjuzr
Copyright©1999

Newest Thing