Tid Bits#3

HI READERS

In this issue I hope to make it easier for everyone to share Tid-Bits with their friends. At the bottom there is a new button that will, when you push it, let you send this page to your friends and return you here. Also there is the box where you can sign up for future updates of Tid-Bits and news flashes of other wildlife features. Be sure and take a look at the FREE wildlife online postcards you can send.

Please feel free to share Tid-Bits with other animal lovers that you know!!

SOME ACTUAL COMMENTS LEFT ON FOREST SERVICE
REGISTRATION SHEETS AND COMMENTS CARDS.

"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles.
Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please Call."

"Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs.
Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."

"The coyotes made to much noise last night and kept me awake.
Please eradicate these annoying animals."

"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked"

"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs
to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of
visitors to wilderness."

"Need more signs to keep the area pristine."

Dogs: Ever consider what the must think of us
I mean, here we come back from the grocery store
with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow.
They must think we are the greatest hunters on earth.

Dogs: Don't accept your dog's admiration as
conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Cats: No amount of time can erase the memory of a
Good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever
totally remove his fur from your couch.

Cats: Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell
this by all the time they spend on personal
grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of
personal grooming is to roll in a dead fish.

STRICT, UNBENDING RULES FOR DEALING WITH STRAY CATS.

1. Stray cats will not be fed.
2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk,
moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.
6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
7. Stray cats that are petted, played with or picked up will absolutely not be given a name.
8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.
10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "Y".
11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.
13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.00 sisal-rope cat scratching post with three perches.
14. Stray cats will answer the calls of nature outdoors in the sand.
15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in a hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot of the bed.
26. Stray cats will not play on this desk.
27. Stray cats will not play on this desk near the computer.
28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on this desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;inheb,w;:ioerpuyysdfgkju;lo04jljg;;l -USING IT

I remembered one morning when I discovered a cocoon in the bark of a tree, just as a butterfly was making a hole in its case and preparing to come out. I waited awhile, but it was too long appearing and I was impatient. I bent over it and breathed on it to warm it. I warmed it as quickly as I could and the miracle began to happen before my eyes, faster than life. The case opened, the butterfly started slowly crawling out and I shall never forget my horror when I saw how its wings were folded back and crumpled; the wretched butterfly tried with its whole trembling body to unfold them. Bending over it, I tried to help it with my breath. In vain, it needed to be hatched out patiently and the unfolding of the wings would be a gradual process in the sun. Now it was to late. My breath had forced the butterfly to appear, all crumpled, before its time. It struggled desperately and, a few seconds later, died in the palm of my hand. That little body is, I do believe, the greater weight I have on my conscience. For I realize today that it is a mortal sin to violate the great laws of nature. We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but should confidently obey the eternal rhythm. What a sad, but great lesson we all can learn from...

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front
seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children fell to
discussing the dog's duties.

A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs,"
she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

BET YA DIDN'T KNOW

Of all known forms of animal life ever to inhabit the earth,
only 10 percent still exist today.

There are close to 4,000 known species of frogs, including toads.

There are more then 100 million dogs and cats in the United
States. Americans spend more than 5.4 billion dollars on their
pets each year.

A crocodile weighing 120 pounds exerts a force of about 1,540
pounds between its jaws. A human being's jaws exert a force
of only 40 to 80 pounds.

WAYS THE U.S. WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF THE PRESIDENT WERE A DOG.

1. Doggy door on the oval office
2. At press conferences, instead of "Mr. President",
"Here Big Fellow"
3. Good-bye Whitewater scandal, hello toilet bowl water scandal.
4. Washington Monument replaced with hundred-story fire hydrant.
5. U.S. Might have more coherent foreign policy.
6. Public Enemy #1 -- Bob Barker.
7. Secret Service and CIA dispatched to catch the little
"Chuck Wagon".
8. Country really run by dog's smarter then poodle wife.
9. Here's your new national anthem:
(videotape of barking x-mas jingle).
10. One Word: Sausage-gate

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This page was last updated on 03/17/02.
Please contact Thomas Rudge with questions and comments about this site.
You can reach me in ICQ my number is 2709551
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